I’M STILL HERE! ♥️♥️♥️

July 6th, 2021

Hi there friends…..

I’m sorry I haven’t written more. I can’t seem to download new pictures,so it’s hampered my ability to produce more content. I like to put pictures with my stories! And this one is about the DONATE BUTTON.

NOW PAYPAL has a new BUTTON CODE. So if you try to DONATE to me…and I do need this help…..PayPal says this account is DEACTIVATED!

NO! It’s not! But the BUTTON is an old code! I will try to see if my neighbor can help me fix it with the new code PayPal has emailed to me.

STAY TUNED! I’ll be back, and appreciate every single person who helped us for the 12 years I was taking care of my darling Wilson. You are all CHAMPIONS.
I miss him more every day. Anyone who says TIME heals all forgot to mention the ebb & flow of such a loss. Time, in this case, could be infinite. I’ve been struggling with it more as his birthday approaches…..

But I’m trying to snap out of it. I just started working with a Physical Therapist, and hope to become more ambulatory in the coming months.

I’ll fix this Donate button later today or HEADS WILL ROLL!

Love ye all.

April, the cruelest month

April 9th, 2021
It's a nice day for...

It’s a nice day for…

I want to thank everyone who has been so generous since Wilson’s passing, and for all the kind condolences & cards. I had only just been locked out of my email address weeks before Wilson passed… I lost the password right before my old iPad died! I have no idea who’s written to me, and since it’s still active it looks like I received your emails. I haven’t, I promise! It probably looks like I’m so rude I’m not bothering to reply, which has driven me mad. Please comment on here, and I’ll write back to you from my new email address. I’ve lost all my contacts of 30 years at that address. What absolutely perverse timing!

It has been two months now, and I think I’m still in a state of shock. Tomorrow I’ll contact GoDaddy and find out why I still can’t download pictures here. I spoke with them for nearly an hour last week, to iron all this out, but it still won’t work! I have some beautiful pictures I took of Wilson just two days before he passed which I’d love to share with you.

I’ll come back when I’ve fixed this, and post a whole series of new photos. I hope you’re all well and getting vaccinated! We must try to reach immunity and get back to a semblance of normalcy.

Again, thank you for your generosity and for checking in. This loss has shaken me to my core, so the comments on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter have kept me going during what seems like a terrible dream from which I cannot awaken. My beautiful family of friends & neighbors and my tiny actual family have all been so kind while I flounder around in search of my footing, rambling around  this place filled to the brim with memories & collections of Wilson’s…but I’d prefer his presence far more than his things! It will take time. Sometimes I’m merely tiptoeing in the shallows of this grief….then suddenly I’m launched into the deep end, and it seems I must learn to swim all over again. I know I can do this….. ♥️

Rest In Peace February 7, 2021

February 9th, 2021

I’m so sorry to tell you that my darling Wilson died in my arms on Sunday afternoon, at 4pm. I’d played Muddy Waters, Howlin Wolf & John Lee Hooker on YouTube for him all morning, then switched to Gyuto Monks chanting for Freedom at the Top of the World…he always loved that Tuvan Throat singing….I placed little solar lanterns on the bed as it got dark out…just party lights over the mantle…..he loved their soft glow…”we all need better lighting as we grow old, right,darling?” I’d laughed with him about that only the night before and he winked. I hadn’t heard his voice for two days, but he agreed with a tiny smirk.

I had promised I’d take care of him, protect him, and keep him safe. He trusted me to keep him alive for 12 years and I did that until it was truly time for him to go. He looked beautiful and at peace…he grew cold, and I raised the quilt up under his chin with his trusty smiling toy giraffe, Mambo, lying with his face right next to his, under the covers. I kept sitting with him and talking to him until they came at 8pm to collect him. A new carer, Stephanie, helped move the bookshelf & portfolios from the long hallway so they could take him out lying down, serenely. I was horrified at the thought they might have to strap him onto that firemen’s chair, bolt upright, weaving past that stuff and bumping down the five steps, to the sidewalk. I didn’t want them to hurt him or bump him……we made a nice wide empty hallway for him to glide through, his whole long length of him relaxed on his journey…

I know this website looked strange for several months, with a “Not Secure” notice…I didn’t know but someone tried to hack it! I was too busy with Wilson’s decline to even check it. But It has been scrubbed & made safe again.
If you feel inclined to donate to the Special Needs Trust again, Wilson’s very crippled Widow would very much appreciate it. I’m grateful for all the years of support you have given to us…you’ve made it possible to afford a phone, cable, WiFi, streaming movies for all these years! We’d have been cut off from the world without your generosity. For that, I thank you. Wilson loved watching movies every day, and at bedtime we always ended by watching a standup comic. He wasn’t able to speak, but he understood what was said, so sometimes he’d holler “Nahhh” and I’d ask “You don’t like this one?” And he’d say “NO” I’d laugh, agreeing with him, and search for another performer. “Pretty funny how you can’t remember how to brush your teeth, but you’re a MOVIE CRITIC and a know it all of all things regarding HUMOR. “Yahhhh” he’d say, self satisfied, meaning “How could it be otherwise?”

I quite agree and concur.

Please look on our Facebook pages for Tributes to him, and add your own. I’ll read them all. They are a great comfort.
I’ll continue to write on here, and hope you’ll check in now & then.

I will never stop loving Wilson. I’m alone in this house with all his things and our long history together. It doesn’t just end. I keep getting up to go check on him….I burst into tears like I’m doing right now. I don’t know how this is properly done..saying good bye…

But you all deserve condolences, too. I’m sorry for YOUR loss as well.

Big Love and gratitude….Lorraine

To view  GALLERY OF DRAWINGS – click on JUNE 2013

Merry Xmas ! ❤️

December 25th, 2020


Halloween’s coming!

October 26th, 2020


I have been silent too long, I know. Wilson has had severe lung congestion, but he’s been better the past week, so I feel better, too.He was suffering so much with all the suctioning & I was checking him every hour all night long, giving him oxygen & re-positioning him so he didn’t snore like a freight train & feel like he was drowning. Pretty exhausting for us both, though he’s been so cooperative! I’d take the treatment mask off his face & find him smiling sweetly at me..grateful for the care. Just the most adorable expression!


So far we have been spared the Pandemic, as Rena is very careful, and I’ve not gone anywhere since March 1st! That will change tomorrow when I go to Walgreen’s for a Flu shot! Oh, the horror! I wish I could go there inside a bubble.

We lost our beloved friend, artist David Geiser, suddenly last week. It hit me hard, as he’s been such a great friend by regularly sending pictures of recent works to show Wilson, and calling. He started calling every other week since the shutdown, as things slowed down enough to think about past hijinks with Wilson. I’d hold the phone on speaker, in front of Wilson’s face, while Geiser regaled him with stories in which Wilson was the featured character…his favorite subject… interrupted occasionally by me describing Wilson’s smile, or to notify him that Wilson was trying to put the phone in his mouth. Oh we laughed! David had called only a couple of days before he passed, promising to call back, since Wilson wasn’t available at the moment. I won’t tell Wilson this heartbreaking news. It would be too hard on him, since he can’t speak. There’s no point in making him suffer, unable to express his sorrow or go to a memorial surrounded with friends. So I’m grieving alone. I’ll miss him terribly. He was friends with my former husband, sculptor John Chamberlain as well, and had many exhibitions with him over the years. Oddly a thread of continuity with marriages 35 years apart…a lovely link. He leaves behind his beautiful wife, actress Mercedes Ruehl, and sons Jake & Cameron, all of whom I send my deepest condolences. Rest in color – and Peace, beloved old friend.

I’m going to get about the business of Wilson’s Halloween Tradition today and hang the dead cat & mouse in the front. People knock on the window around this time…when I’m a WEEK LATE as I am this time, yelling “WHERE’S the CAT?” so I better get to it! I’ll post again in a few days to show you. It never gets old!

Please be Well & Safe out there, kiddos, and WEAR A MASK! (Hardly an odd demand on Halloween, but wear a safety barrier under that costume mask, please.)


I won’t speechify here, but to simply say PLEASE DumpTrump!

Today is his Birthday!

July 25th, 2020
By sabeth

By sabeth

Hey Kids….Wilson turns 79 today! For some reason I can’t upload a new photo of him, but here’s this fabulous drawing by his former squeeze, Sabeth. I love this rendition of Wilson & his little “brace of redheads”! I’ll try to figure out what’s gone haywire, and post some pix of the Birthday Boy later.

I need to update you on how he’s doing, but haven’t had the heart this past month. He nearly died on MY birthday, June22….but managed to stick around for that, and for his own, today. For that I am very grateful. He is having trouble now. We feed him puréed food & thickened water, to make swallowing easier. And safer. Anyone who’s ever eaten a meal with Wilson knows what a travesty this is – I’ve never known ANYONE who chews their food as THOROUGHLY as Wilson! Mealtime is almost the ONLY time he’s quiet! You can imagine how feeding him the past nearly two years has been an exercise in Zen Patience. I’d have the next bite ready for what seems like an ETERNITY, while His Majesty was busy chewing. And chewing. And chewing. Oop! Almost. Nope. Still chewing……

Please send him a message, and I’ll read it to him. I’m heartbroken to say this on his birthday….but the Hospice Dr didn’t really need to tell me he hasn’t much time now. I can see it myself. But we are being CHEERY today. It is not a day to talk about dying….although the virus has us thinking about almost nothing ELSE in these past very short six months…..he’s NOT going on his birthday, although with his love of holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and coincidences, the irony of that would have given him a wicked chuckle.

I’m not having it! I treasure every one of these last days with him. He still reaches towards my face, touches my hair, and pulls my hand to his lips. He also still grouses if I’ve got some comedy special on Netflix for him that he doesn’t find amusing…or a movie he’s already seen just one too many times. I always hunt for something better…though one time I growled “Seriously? You forgot how to tie your shoes, but you’re still a MOVIE CRITIC?” Of course, he stared at me wide-eyed, as if to say “How could it be otherwise?”

How, indeed! Even in his twilight hours, without being able to speak, S.Clay Wilson ALWAYS has something to say.

Wilson wears it well

March 9th, 2020
Wilson strikes a pose

Wilson strikes a pose

Thank you, Bryan, for making these shirts and handling the sale & shipping of them. And thank you SO MUCH for donating the proceeds to Wilson’s Trust! This generous donation has made it possible to keep going this winter. We are stunned and grateful for your tireless effort. People love their shirts, as do we.  Thank you thank you thank you!

Escape artist!

Escape artist!

Wilson tries to escape his chair after lunch, forgetting that he can no longer walk without two people holding him in the front & back…and even then for only a few steps. But he is still just as stubborn as he’s always been!


Checkered Demon T-Shirts!!!

February 2nd, 2020
The Demon lives!

The Demon lives!

The Artist, Bryan Erik Baines made these shirts in a limited edition,to benefit Wilson’s SpecialNeedsTrust.

They just went up for sale Sunday Feb.2, 2020, and are selling like hot cakes. So place your orders! Type in the address shown in the ad, as I’m NOT the person selling them! They’re soft, 100% cotton, White only, sizes S – XXXL.

Thank you, Bryan, for doing this for Wilson, and for doing such a great job. ❤️


January 16th, 2020
Sam Vaughn Show n' Tell

Sam Vaughn Show n’ Tell

An old pal of Wilson’s, the artist SamVaughn stopped in last Saturday to say Hello to Wilson, and show us some of his recent works. We always love an episode of Show & Tell, so Wilson was riveted by the work. He loved listening to Sam’s distinctive, blustery voice, and did his best to join in the conversation by making a few unintelligible remarks. I’m pleased our caregiver Rena was there to catch the two of them in this shot.

In the past, whenever we were driving on 17th Street, Wilson would always roll down the window at Guerrero Street, by the 500 Club, and holler in Sam’s husky voice,”HEY SAM, get off the floor”.and we’d continue on our way. There’s a story about that having to do with Sam being in his cups in there and falling over off the barstool, onto the floor, and just staying there. I think that’s when Wilson strolled in, stepped over him without so much as a pause, and said that to him just before ordering himself a drink. So he loved yelling that ever after, in passing. Ever since Wilson’s injury, I’ve taken over the tradition should we happen to drive past there together. It always makes Wilson smile, remembering it as I say it.

I’ve been sharing some of Wilson’s Hawaiian shirts with his pals, since he’s not been wearing them much in the past few years. He’s got a wild collection of vintage ones, plus some with pinup girls on them, festooned with palm trees or fishnet stockings. I wanted  to share some with Sam, who is tall enough,and the perfect size. He was already wearing an Hawaiian shirt, in fact, so I put 5 of them in a bag, along with a gorgeous black leather jacket, and an overjoyed Sam left with his gifts. He’s always loved Wilson’s iconic shirt collection, and I’m happy to give them to someone who would love to actually wear this memorable, festive regalia. Good memories, with great affection attached.

Great seeing you, Sam! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2020!

January 6th, 2020



You’ve been wondering where we are?

We’re both still alive, first of all. I hope I didn’t worry anyone too much, but I had lots of oral surgery for Xmas, and barely managed to write something on Facebook (at the last minute) so I fell down on the job entirely where the Holidaze were concerned. It’s the first time I’ve done such a thing….but I did only a tiny bit of decorating on Xmas Eve. We were alone for over two days here, and while I LURV being home ALONE with Wilson, it was particularly difficult on a Holiday while picturing most people in the company of other loved ones. Or at least loved ones who can TALK! Man…I kept Wilson cheery, but can’t say the same for MYSELF. Same thing with New Year’s Eve and Day. Rena took this time off to….shocking!…..ENJOY HERSELF and get some rest. She’s doing an Herculean job of lifting Wilson way too much, so I let her take a break. Tomorrow we expect delivery of an electric LIFT, so if figuring out how to use it doesn’t kill us or Wilson, hopefully we won’t ALL end up in hospital beds. We’ll have to hire a WEIGHT LIFTER to take care of the THREE of us! I’m way to crippled now to lift him, as he is not only frail but completely uncooperative. He refuses to help unless it has something to do with getting back in bed. Otherwise he won’t stand up. Now very skinny, but it’s 6’4″ of skinny dead weight, WEIGHS A TON…so it feels like 200lbs, easy.

Wilson scared us this morning. We couldn’t wake him up for at least a half hour. Cold cloths, jiggling the bed, hollering. Nothing worked. This has happened a couple of times when I’ve been here alone – for even longer – your mind races, thinking NOT NOW NOT TODAY and informs me just how much I’m in denial. I am not even CLOSE to ready for his passing. I picture an afternoon with the whole house neat & tidy…all the mail opened & read…my hair freshly washed, and Wilson shaved & handsome. Well, that last part’s always true! He looks better than ME most days. But there’s clutter from sorting, and my GOD I need a shower today! I leaned in, kissed his cheek, and whispered into his ear “Wilson..please come back to me” and he squeezed my hand, then closed his mouth. Another kiss, and he lifted his lids, looking at me, and I pushed my heart back inside my chest.

“Good morning sweetheart!” I gushed. “Do you want some breakfast?” and he opened his mouth wide, like a baby bird. *sigh*…… Good grief! What a way to start a Monday morning!

So I hooked him up to oxygen while Rena made breakfast, and I laid down with a cup of coffee and this greatful reprieve. He’s awake. That’s a start. I can work with that.

Yeah…so we’re alive another day, and his eyes are bright again, and when he looks into mine I can tell he sees me. All is good.

Happy New Year, y’all! Here’s some photos. I haven’t taken many lately, so these old



IMG_7928 IMG_8051 IMG_8123 IMG_8146gems will have to do! Thanks for looking in, and thanks everyone for your donations. I just got a suction machine AND a nebulizer, so we can do a better job at keeping his airways open. Again…thank you all. Love & Peace in this New Year. And good health, most of all.

Fabulous drawing of W and redheads by Sabeth