S Clay Wilson was trying to get home from a friend’s house November 1, 2008, the night his life changed forever. We will never be certain if he fell or was attacked, since he has no memory of it. The numerous injuries on his face and head made him look like he was beat up. Two good samaritans found him unconscious between parked cars, face down in the rain, and called an ambulance. (I have tried to find them in order to express my gratitude for saving his life, but have had no success.) He’d suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, bleeding in three hemispheres of his brain. He spent three weeks in a coma, and we had no idea how severely impaired he was for many months. Once he began to speak again we realized he hadn’t just “awakened” to resume life as it had been before.
Well, we did make it through April, which some refer to as “The cruelest month”….and I tend to agree! We had more medical issues than usual, but managed to survive them all so far. Wilson is suffering from some repetitive mo
vement syndrome at last, a side effect from his dementia medication. I have been dreading this possibility for many years, hoping he wasn’t going to get some bizarre mouth movement, or even start drooling. He hasn’t got those. Instead, he does a rocking forward motion. It’s exhausting. Like doing crunches for hours at a time. I think this is why he remains so slender! It can drive me from the room sometimes, as it gets annoying after awhile, but he doesn’t do it ALL the time. He can’t control it, and does a fair amount of grunting and gasping when it’s got ahold of him, so I feel great sympathy for him when it’s going on, because he can’t just relax and enjoy a movie. Or his dinner. I remind him to try to relax, but there’s nothing he can do about it until it subsides on its own after a couple of hours.
Our caregiver, Rena, has been taking him out for a walk on her own lately, since I am in more hip pain. I use a walker now, even in the house. I’m hoping to be cleared for hip surgery soon, and look forward to pain-free walking by next Fall.
We lost power in the neighborhood for over 24 hours on the weekend, when I was alone here with him. Wilson is afraid of the dark now, and started babbling incoherently and moaning until I got some candles lit, and settled down to read to him until he could doze off to sleep. The following day I put a radio in his room, and gave him a shave and manicure. Our neighbors, Doug and Heather, brought us some ice and a big cooler, so we wouldn’t lose all our groceries. I talked to Wilson all day, keeping him entertained, and he really enjoyed the candlelit dinner, with two battery candles that sparkled on his tray table. I was so thrilled when the power returned! I’m just not that interested in camping any more. Especially not when I had to do all the work AND do all the entertainment. I was totally crippled the next day from hobbling around so much, finding more candles, batteries, etc. It was a lot of walking for someone who can’t usually make it to the kitchen without the walker….in such searing pain.
The one thing that saved my sanity was when my old friend, Skip Ziobran came over, picked up my iPad, went home and plugged it in, then brought it back a few hours later (both trips on the bus, mind you!)so I could lie down later and at least watch a video on it. We had no wifi, but I had a couple of movies on it. I just hadn’t charged it all day when the lights went out. I’ll never let THAT happen again! He was so incredibly generous to do that for me. He didn’t work that night at his bar the whole time, just so he could do that for me. He owns the bar called Martuni’s, on Market and Valencia. Please go in that fantastically fun place sometime and have one of their giant martinis. And say thank you to Skip again for Wilson and me. I can’t thank him ENOUGH for all he means to me as an old friend from Connecticut!
Ooops! I meant to put captions under the photos. The first several are Wilson going out for a walk with Rena, all bundled up like a kid. The last two were taken during the power outage, in the bedroom, trying to have a candlelit dinner.
I am sorry for doing such a crummy job posting these photos. I’m lucky they are even upright, as I had to fix that issue…..but forgot how to go back to each one to add a caption…except for the last one. I will try to fix this presentation when I have the time.
cheers to all from your humble scribe, Lorraine
We received the new and VERY LAST Zap number 16 this week. It contains ten drawings Wilson did while he was still in the hospital, as well as the centerfold drawing he did for it in 2007, before he was injured. We had all forgotten about that incredible black and white masterpiece until it’s new owner wrote to me, asking why it wasn’t in the version of Zap 16 which was in the giant Zap Anthology which came out earlier in the year. Oh dear! I forgot! And we all know Wilson certainly had….or if he did remember, he couldn’t tell me. Fortunately, this was brought to my attention in time to get it printed. The single issue hadn’t been assembled yet, so it was made just in time! It’s not placed in the center, actually, but you will find it close to the end of the 96-page volume, on pages 88-89. It is a densepack masterpiece. I remember when Wilson was working on it, because he would yell to me in the hallway “HA! THEY’LL NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO FIND THIS ONE!” then zip back into his studio, cackling with glee. It took a couple of months to complete, and at times he was exasperated, wondering why he was doing this to himself. He could have done something easier, and it would have still been great. Some people actually prefer his earlier work, which was certainly easier to look at, and had a more whimsical look. But in light of his injury, it is kind of an accidental gift to the world, this last incredibly complicated drawing. Not something you can glance at quickly, then be on your way. You are required to spend some serious time with it, there are so many hidden treasures to be found within its borders. his contemporaries will have to get out their reading glasses, for sure. Enjoy his last really intense drawing. I am so glad it was included where it was intended to be found.
ok. So you missed when LORRAINE TURNED 70, on June 22nd. Well, it’s not like there was a big party or anything. I’ve always had pretty dismal birthdays…except for a few years in Essex, Ct., when my friends Colette and Peter Harron used to give me a party. They were always fantastic, and I felt celebrated. I am so grateful for Doug & Heather Brown, upstairs. They dragged me out into the back yard where their adorable daughters, EmmaJean and Olivia, anointed me with airborne bubbles, a necklace, and a tiara…all with hugs and CUPCAKES! I was truly thrilled and deeply touched. Wilson didn’t have a clue that day, so it was extra heartbreaking on such a big decade. (When I was 60 I had promised myself I’d be in Hawaii when I turned 70, but it just didn’t happen.) Hugs from the girls, though, rescued me from a torment we don’t even want to start to describe! Thank you so much!
And now, on Saturday the 25th, a few pals will drop in to celebrate Wilsons 74th birthday. I’m hoping we will be able to get a belly laugh out of him….or at least a smile. When I asked him if he wanted a party, he blurted “Well YEAH” like I must be an idiot to ask…so Im hoping that’s a sign he will enjoy it, and that we will all be able to tell. Sometimes that can be difficult if he’s having one of those days devoid of facial expressions. But regardless, I know he will be happy to see everyone, even if it’s hard to see. I’ll post some photos for you afterwards.
He can say things once in awhile that really startle me. I told him the Moscosos had called the other day. I said Victor was turning 79 on Tuesday, he was turning 74 on Saturday, and Gail was turning 70 one day very soon. A moment passed, Wilson sighed, adjusted himself, getting comfortable, and then said, clear as a bell, “SHOCKING.” It took a minute for me to even register that. “Did you just say SHOCKING?” I asked. “Yeah” he said. ” Well THAT was shocking” I stated. And he chuckled, very pleased with himself.
Please send him some remarks, greetings, insults, donations or threats, and I’ll read them to him over his birthday breakfast, to get the day started, ok? I promise to send you all thank you notes for your donations, as I always do. They mean the world to us, as it makes it possible for us to have cable, telephone, Internet, and even laundry detergent, as I’ve told you before. Without it, we couldn’t possibly afford those things, or even gas for the car.
Many thanks, and I’ll post some birthday pix after it’s over. I’m just so happy we are both still alive and together and here for another celebration.
Wilson and I were dropped of at Pretty Nails, for our periodical pedicures, and felt so rejuvenated we actually managed to stroll back home on our incredibly happy feet, in the afternoon sunshine. Wilson was smiling the entire time til just before Rena snapped this photo. Wouldn’t you just know it. He is just as stubborn as he always was, so he wouldn’t smile til the photography session was over.
Oh no! As many times as I tried, suddenly I can’t include our photo. I will try again later. It’s always SOMETHING!
We had a lovely afternoon on Xmas, opening presents in the living room together, and receiving calls from friends & family. Wilson was especially happy with the flowering bouquet of colorful socks I managed to find for him online. After his injury, he went through a period of several years where he only wanted to wear black socks. So unlike him! But this year, he has returned to his affinity for the outrageous ones he used to prefer, so I got him a fresh batch, as well as a new pair of slippers. It doesn’t take much, really. The older we get, the fewer things you want. This apartment is already filled to the rafters from years of collecting. These days I’d rather divest than continue to acquire anything beyond what we actually need. When I moved in with him in 2000, he noticed that I had many things that he, too, already owned. “We have two of everything!” He declared with joy. Now, I’m not so excited about that any more. I’d like to simplify!
When we tired of hanging out in the living room, I struggled to my feet off the couch, grabbed onto the walker I’ve taken to using of late, and said “Come on, honey, let’s go in the back and watch a movie.” I turned around to see if he was following me, and discovered he couldn’t get up out of the chair. This happens sometimes, but not very often any more. There was no way I could pull him up myself like I used to do. My back is much too fragile now, and I would injure myself trying. Good thing I realized there were some people smoking pot on our front porch! I hobbled to the door and asked them in to help. They were disoriented a bit for a second when they first entered the living room, looking around in awe at all the art on the walls, and the wacky stuff festooning nearly every surface. “Wow” one guy said “I really like your apartment!” They approached Wilson then, who seemed momentarily wary of these strangers. “This is Wilson” I remarked. “Well Mr. Wilson” one said,”We’re just going to help you get up”. He stretched out both arms, and they gently raised him to his feet. It turned out they were visiting our neighbors, and had heard of him. I laughed, because I was fine with asking strangers in to help! If we get trapped in the furniture again, we might have to wait til Rena came back to work. Not a pretty picture. I’m going to have to get someone to put the new legs on the couch & chairs that I bought three or four years ago, as I’ve let it go too long and am now too crippled to do it myself. They would raise them up so we could get up under our own steam. It’s such a joy getting old, eh?
Wilson has been losing ground a little more this past year, I’m sorry to say. He is no longer as talkative in the evenings, and has lost a great many facial expressions. Sometimes he won’t even answer a yes or no question, like “Do you like this movie?” Or “Is this comfortable?” Instead, he will frequently just stare at me. I have to ask a question several times to get an answer out of him. It’s frustrating, and I remind him sometimes that I wouldn’t be repeating myself if he would reply the first time. Then, he will sometimes reveal a tiny smirk in the corner of his mouth, which lets me know that he understands, and is just messing with me. Still playing perverse pranks! And getting extra attention.
Thanks to all you Marc Maron fans out there! He talked about Wilson on his WTF podcast a couple of times in the past few months, and retweeted some of my tweets. He has so many thousands of followers that we had an increase in donations to the Trust, especially last month. It really saved us, and I am so grateful. I am a fan of his as well, and was really pleased when I saw his quotes on the inside flap of Wilson’s biography, “Pirates in the Heartland”. Volume Two of his three-volume biography will be out before summer 2015, by the way. So the saga continues. Thank you so much, Marc, for keeping Wilson on people’s minds. We are pretty much hermits, so receiving donations and good wishes from people all over the world truly brings them to our door.
Ken Weaver, of the Fugs, came to visit for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve. It was great to see him. He came all the way from his home in France. He gave us each a sterling silver skull ring from his own collection of jewelry he’d been wearing for years. They are really gorgeous. He is one of the people who can really make Wilson laugh. He is an incredible character, as well as human being. It perked both of us up to be in his company! I just wish he could come over more often. But he does call frequently and tell us all about his travels with his lovely wife Maxine, so we get to live a little bit vicariously through him.
I hope you all have a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year! Thanks to all for your generosity and positive wishes.
We had fun on this sunny day, spending it in the back yard with some old pals. Ace, Rick, Eugene, Carlson, Marilyn, Sabeth, Kathi & the Johnsons joined Wilson for some food, iced tea, cake & ice cream. I put a little blonde bathing beauty on top the cake, after first painting polka dots on her bikini, and messing up her hair. I put 3 candles on it to signify 73 years, and they stayed lit til he blew them out. John Riddell also made the trip in, bringing him a hand drawn card which Wilson especially liked. Sabeth brought a binder filled with photos from the years they were together, which he poured over several times later that evening. It was a lovely day.
Thank you, Justin Green, for putting a Birthday Tribute on your blog. Anyone mentioning Justin’s name when donating to Wilson’s Special Needs Trust, received a print from him. It was just the incentive needed to remind people to donate.
And thanks to all the other people who needed no reminder to give so generously. It was a truly happy birthday with your generous donations. We very much needed this help, as the Trust was getting low. Again….thank you!
Wilson has been losing ground lately, and we’re going to see his neurologist later this month, to see if Altzheimers is becoming an issue. We were warned about it when he was first injured. Lately, a simple task like taking off his own t-shirt has become confusing to him. He is also much more ornery the first half of the day, becoming more uncooperative than ever. It makes our morning routine much less pleasant, so I’m hoping there might be some new medication to slow the progress of this cruel disease.
The new cd by Chrissie Hynde arrived yesterday, with a sweet note tucked in the envelope from her, reminding him to be sure to listen to the last cut called “Adding the Blue” in which she mentions S. Clay Wilson. It is great to know she still thinks of him. We went to her show, and visited her backstage in 2006. She had cried out for Wilson on Valentines Day at the Fillmore in 2000, saying “S. Clay Wilson…will you be my Valentine?” Sadly, he was not in the audience. In 2006, they talked nonstop for an hour, and he gave her his book. We visited her again, two years after his injury. It was an uncomfortable visit, as she was not used to him being unable to talk. After all, it’s not like she wanted to visit with ME all that much! We left before the show when Wilson became frightened and claustrophobic in the theater. Now, it is thrilling to receive her cd, and to know she still thinks of him. Thanks so much, Chrissie, for cheering him up! I will send her a copy of Pirates in the Heartland right away. Here’s a photo of them together in 2006. It’s fuzzy, but the only photo I managed to get that night.
It was a busy Spring. I was alone, taking care of Wilson, for over three weeks after our caregiver disappeared. It took awhile before I was up to interviewing another parade of wackos, degenerates & mouth breathers! Fortunately, After calling nearly everyone on the list, I found a terrific young woman. She has been with us for two months now. Wilson and I both like her. She cooks, helps with errands, and has a sense of humor. That third quality is really important to both of us, even though Wilson rarely laughs. He will smirk on a good day and I’m gratified. In the old days, he would leap into a doorway wearing a mask, lifting his shirt. Or walk by quickly, shorter with every step, like he was going down a flight of stairs. Sight gags to break up the day, or startle me out of my wits. I miss that. Now, I’m the one trying to entertain him. I’m just not as good at physical comedy…especially now that I’m always in so much pain. So all he gets is my stream-of-consciousness blather, or my singing, which is his favorite. My repertoire is as varied as it is peculiar, so I’ve not managed to bore him yet. (However, one time I was regaling him with some amusing anecdote from maybe 20 years ago when he interrupted me by saying “You told me that already”. First whole sentence in months, and it had to be that! I’m repeating myself? Amazing. He can’t remember to spit after rinsing, but he remembers something I told him 20 years ago. The brain is a truly mysterious thing.) Anyway…things are going along much the same. He hasn’t drawn anything since February, and is still pretty frail but we keep going. I admitted him to Laguna Honda Hospital for three weeks in late April. When I returned home that afternoon, I literally collapsed into bed, remaining there for the whole time save for visiting him three times, and going to the doctor twice. I had been feeling exhausted for nearly a year, and though I had lab work done last November, no one paid any attention to the results until I could no longer walk without a walker, was in magnificent pain, and couldn’t stand in the kitchen long enough to even fix anything for myself to eat during those weeks alone. Turned out, my Thyroid had stopped working! No wonder I had been feeling like I was dying. I also became allergic to Ibuprofen, racing to the ER when I awoke with my face & right hand swollen. I was unrecognizably disfigured. I’ve been taking Thyroid meds, which have helped some. I was beginning to think I was going to be fatigued like this forever, but I’m hoping once they get the meds right I’ll return to my former self, and have more energy. It takes ALL of it to take care of Wilson, so I need more, please! He suffers if I suffer, since no one else takes him for a walk, or out around town. So I am trying to take him out on my good days, for sure, so we don’t turn into a couple of hermit trolls who glow in the dark.
Patrick Rosenkranz’s biography, Volume One, is out now. “Pirates of the Heartland-The Mythology of S. Clay Wilson” is well researched, well written, and is filled with interviews & photos & his drawings. To see a video about it, just go to YouTube and type in Pirates in the Heartland. It’s got some terrific video of Wilson in it. I loved hearing his voice as it used to be. He speaks so quietly now I’d almost forgotten what his booming voice and rapid fire delivery sounded like. Made my heart skip a beat.
The Zap Anthology will be out in the Fall.
Thank you to those who have sent donations to the Trust! It gets low sometimes, which is really scary. It pays for our phone, Internet, cable, special supplies for Wilson, and everything else besides rent, food & utilities. We would be cut off from the world, wearing dirty clothes, if not for all your help. It would be quite dismal. Instead, we have Netflix & Hulu streaming, and Pandora so Wilson can listen to music at breakfast every day, which he loves. Again, thank you.
I have hopefully uploaded our Xmas card on here. We actually just share this walker. It’s really for Wilson to sit down on when we’re out on a walk, in case he gets tuckered out for a minute. I hope you all have a lovely Holiday!