Kevin Webster transforms me into a super-duper Heroine as I turn 70! Along with my ever present pal, The Woozy…my raccoon buddy.

Well it’s TRUE! Today I’m 8 DECADES!! 80! EIGHTY YEARS OLD!

When I was younger, like 70, and someone told me they were turning 80 I got SCARED  “80 is so OLD…OMG they could die any minute from NOW ON,” was my thinking, and now that it’s ME I can’t say that thinking’s changed even one lil bit.

But hey, on a lighter note I’m still crippled & Broke! So it’s not such an alarming change at all…things are proceeding much in the manner to be expected.
Alfred will bring me my morning tea and Sunday cookie & I’ll take a pill. This may not sound exciting but I REALLY started wanting to make it to 80 about three years ago, cuz it was SO CLOSE I’d hate to miss it. Eight’s my favorite number since I could count to it, so I’ve always been slightly obsessive about it. So it’s exciting TO ME!

Alas, my niece Michele arrives tomorrow!. She couldn’t get a flight that didn’t cost a fortune til then, but I’m still just as happy about it as if she was arriving for my actual Birthday. So today I’ll be opening my presents from the usual suspects, including the fabulous Kevin Webster who made that 70th birthday picture up there at the top. It’s  a BOX this time. It must be an OBJECT of his making! But I can’t open it until I go back to sleep & wake up for my tea. There are rules.

And I’m accepting calls & singing from various reprobates, relatives, friends & old Lovers. You know who you are, but should you not have my phone number just leave me a comment with yr email & I’ll send it to you. It’s been the SAME for 25yrs…or 40 actually, since it was Wilson’s number. I have an actual CELLPHONE now, so we could even TEXT. I’ve become a MODERN GEEZER at long last…dragged kicking & screaming into the HACKABLE 21st Century. Oh frabjuous day! Calloo Callay, I chortle in my joy.

Thanks for looking in, and as with every Birthday, if you can SEE the tiny PayPal button on the upper LEFT under Wilson’s face…Will ye PLEASE consider leaving a donation for this impoverished dame? I don’t even have TV any more, the Bastids at Comcast have become too pricey for the likes of me. I am staring at a BLACK RECTANGLE up there on the bedroom mantel. But I also am down to having ONE LIGHT ON any more, except for Alf’s one light. We leave the whole apartment dark unless we’ve come out of our respective CAVES for an exciting foray into the kitchen…or any other room for a brief sojourn.
I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t worried about the WiFi & phone and Rena cooking me something during the week. And most of all the UBER to my Dr appointments. I’m SO broke.  I’ll be sure to write a wordy thank you to let ye know I got it! Thanks for peeking in. And CALL ME if you want. I’m most always here except for the upcoming scary visits planned for the HEART DOCTOR and the LIVER SPECIALIST in upcoming weeks. Don’t you hate when ORGANS get in trouble? Let’s keep it down to BONES & CONNECTIVE TISSUE, which hurt like f*ck but aren’t SCARY. So TOODLES for now my darlings. And much love.

Lorraine/Urbane/LorreAliceBluegown/Druid/Lucy/Pete/Tumbles*

*NOT my multiple personalities ye silly geese – My NICKNAMES over the years.